Anon

[kasumi]

I'm sorting succesfully the hosting issue. Thanks for your replies! :) And I'll make a decent post anytime soon xD But in the meanwhile, I'll have fun with this.

And because I'm UTTERLY fail, I had to post this again because I was told it was impossible to anonymously comment. So go ahead, you can say how fail I am *sigh* Here we go again.

PERM-ANON POST

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

Comments are screened, IP logging is off, and Anon comments are on. Go on xD

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Stop saying that you are boring and full of fail. You aren't. When I talk to you, I hear an interesting woman who is way too self-conscious and worried about what others think of her. Those who claim you are boring or who are utter bitches to you aren't really your friends. Just forget them and embrace the friends you do have. Trust me. We don't find you boring, and many of us are worried about you and care about you deeply.

I love talking to you and I love being your friend. I feel blessed for having met you, and I hope that you won't get tired of me anytime soon. You're stuck with me.

Also, I have found the perfect emoticon to counter you know what ;D Anonymity, what's that?

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Sorry for that, anon ): You're right; bitches are meant to be left in the past and that's where they are. But I still have unresolved things in my present that are hard to handle. And I can't help but feeling discouraged everytime I try to get close to someone and it ends being a failure because I'm not good enough. Or, when no matter how much you show interest for the other, those feelings are never returned.
As a friend said recently, it gives me the same feeling as a big party where you're dying to go but where you're both uninvited and unwanted in there...

That's not to say I don't feel blessed for those people who do show their care for me regardless of how I am. But I can't ignore this feelings, you know...jealousy? Disappointment with myself? It's a weird mix that I can't quite figure out.

Aww, I don't mind being stuck with you :P I wonder what will I get tonight, mysterious anon ~

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry I've been such a bad friend lately. I've barely been on lj and I've sucked so bad at replying to posts.

But I second a lot of what above anon says. You get way too down on yourself. You're not boring, you're not fail, and while we're at it? You're not a bad writer either. You're very good.

♥

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Please don't mind about it! I appreciate you took the time to write something here, I hope you'll eventually have more time!

You're flattering me, anon >//< Thanks a lot for your kind words! ♥

[(Anonymous)]

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF MORE BECAUSE WE ALL BELIEVE IN YOU, OKAY? ;D

seriously though, you're one of the sweetest people I've met here. You are never boring, bb ♥.

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

You sound a little Kamina in there, you know xD

But thanks, anon; you're also sweet ;3; *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

Straight to the point, I envy you. I really do.

You may say that you have nothing to be envied about. You may say you think of yourself as a boring person. You may say you are full of fail. You may say anything. But there is still the fact that there are some people who truly think of you as their close friends. Without you even trying to be.

You once said I'm talented. But talents are nothing when you don't have people to share your talent with where they would never think twice on telling you you are precious to them. Being talented is nothing when the ones you wish you could share your talents with don't even know you're exist.

You've wormed your way in to many people's minds (and perhaps by some, to their hearts) by being 'not talented', by being normal, by always commenting on your friends' entries, and by just being you. Those are some of the things I cannot do, and I envy you for that.

Almost 50% of the flist we shared talk to you a lot more than they talk to me. I feel a pang of hurt every time I see them in your place but not in mine.

You said that often times, you don't know how to start conversation on MSN. Every time we chat, it's almost always I'm the one who start the conversation. Truth to be told, I'm tired of talking about myself. I'm tired of being so full of myself. I'm tired of you being almost silent and don't share what you're thinking. I'm tired of always taking the initiative to talk about something. Friendship is a two way thing. It will not advance when only one party taking the initiative while the other one stays silent. I want to know about you, I want to know what you're thinking about, I want to know what you want. I want you being selfish for once. I want you to talk more. I don't want you to ignore me.

Envy and greed are two of the seven deadly sins. I envy you, and I'm greedy for the attention and friends you got. But I am only human. And you may think it's pathetic of me to even say this and you would say many other things to tell me I'm better than you. The thing is, you will not make me feel better by saying that.

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

As if I wasn't full of envy myself. I am. Every single time I realize I lack that 'something else' that makes people be attracted to you. Every single time I see people having it in abundance. And every time I realize there's people who'll never look at me as a worthy, important being.

The thing about talent is, you don't need to share it just with a small group of people. Actually, that's selfish. You're right that talent alone's not enough. But, that special mix of talent + passion/love/whatever you want to call it...it will make sooner than later for people to look up to you, to respect you, to consider your sole presence and opinion as something of real worth.

I can't aim to achieve that. Yes, I'm greedy. I want people to look up to me. I want people to see me as an equal. Not as your typical rabid fangirl. But I guess that's too much to ask, isn't it...

It's not as if I don't feel that pang of hurt at times. Sometimes I wonder to myself what should I have to talk about to get people interested. See, I know I have people who'll only comment when I share a doujin. I have people who'll only comment when I make a fandom rant. And so goes on.

Sometimes I also wonder how much of a bother I am by commenting on everywhere. Because, you know, sometimes I get this feeling some people reply just out of courtesy. It's just a matter of seeing other comments. And you know what, that feeling hurts even more than not getting a reply at all.

See, that's why I say people look at me as boring. People get bored talking about themselves. People always have to start a conversation with me. It's not as if I have a lot to say about myself...and anyways, I don't really feel like taking the risk. Years ago, I was called suffocating for being too clingy. I had to change myself. And I don't think I could stand being called obnoxious once again. So yes; you /could/ say I'm selfish in a way. The awkward silences and replies I get when I try to open a conversation of my own, they aren't exactly pleasant. I'm sorry if I've made you think I'm purposely ignoring you because it's not like that.

And this is why I'm doomed to remain here, perpetually whining. But you, you have the will and ability to approach people, to get them to like you the way you'd wish to. This is not me trying to make you feel better, it's just the truth. So go ahead, human being. We're all human, after all. How about beginning to genuinely care. To show interest for the other, even when you know you won't get it back. That's the first step. Once you achieve it, you'll realize you have nothing to envy me.

I can't wait to see what you can get from here. I bet it'll be good.

[(Anonymous)]

I love you and I'm seriously worried about you. Take all the time away that you need if you feel you have to, but please check in every once in awhile. You have friends who love you and care about you deeply and want to see you happy. Never forget that.

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

I may be quite hurt myself, but there's no need to worry about me. It pains me to have had to leave behind my close friends, I don't forget about them, but I didn't want to burden them with more problems. And the amount of time I may need away doesn't even depend of me, so I don't even know what to say about that.
If only I could have my old life back...

[(Anonymous)]

I hope you know that I'm so glad I met you on lj. You're always there to offer encouragement and give advice and you have lovely fanfiction and I appreciate you so much.

You are an AWESOME person.

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your feelings, anon. I know my advices aren't worth too much and that my encouragement is sometimes misunderstood or even unwanted. But even so I still feel the need of being supportive and showing that no hard work is vain, ever, I guess I get my payback when some appreciation's given back to me.

Thanks for your kind words, really.

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry ): I warned you about this on Twitter...and don't think it's something against you; there are several journals where I'm not commenting at all, and that even includes strawberryburst's journal. But somehow, I knew this could happen. I knew you wouldn't like at all seeing me in other journals and...that's why I felt like warning you.

About commenting, I've been really careful...showing up late, or just in 'safe' places. But right now I'm certainly showing myself way more than I did a week ago. So I guess I could come back to comment on your journal as well; late comments, that is. Although I'm not sure if I'd be commenting either even not being myself hiding ^^' I have nothing to say about Inception, I'm afraid \orzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Again, I'm sorry ): I knew this could happen and yet I kept with this anyways.
I'll do my best for showing up on your place, alright? ^^'
*hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

*drive by glomping*

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Hey there, glomping anon xD;

[(Anonymous)]

Why can't I call you Big Sis? :c

Captcha says something about "Terms." Are there terms I must know and follow? ._.

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Probably because you behave like a Big Sis more than I do, anon :3

Yes, there are. The most important term: acknowledge The Whip as your master ._.

[(Anonymous)]

Haven't attacked your anon post in a while.

So.

/glomps

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Looool xD

[(Anonymous)]

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

...I C U ò.o

..\hugs

[(Anonymous)]

Will you be the Japan to my Italy? \(=▽=)ᘚ

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Uh...hai?

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

It's working :B

[(Anonymous)]

I'm afraid that you resent me.

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

I resent many people. I'm a resentful person that holds grudges for months or even years, as pitiful as it may sound like. Of course, there's always a reason for it; but people rarely care enough for wanting to discuss or even just ask.
That said, it's not as if I resent the whole Internet, so I can't tell if you're in my black list with you being an anon :P

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Spammer D<

[(Anonymous)]

Do you still hate me?

-Zero

PS: funny thing is captcha below says "NO MEANS NO"

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

My last impression from you was....less than favorable, remember? And you haven't exactly done something about that...